


Start of Something Great

by BatmanWhoLaughss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Episode: s01e05 Rise of the Old Masters, Extended Scene, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25490893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/pseuds/BatmanWhoLaughss
Summary: Extended scene from 1x05: Kanan agrees to train Ezra, but he still has some doubts.“I don’t– I don’t wanna dump you…” Kanan sighed, bringing a hand up to his forehead. He could feel Ezra watching him warily as he took a seat next to him. “Look, I just wanted you to have the best teacher.”And that’s not me. It’ll never be me.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus
Comments: 18
Kudos: 66





	Start of Something Great

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HarrichrIsty123456](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarrichrIsty123456/gifts).



> Requested! "Well, in Rise of the old masters I was disappointed that Ezra didn't discuss much with Kanan about his fear of being abandoned and dumped onto Luminara. So you could do an extended scene of that, please? No pressure or anything!"
> 
> I wrote this more from Kanan's perspective than Ezra's, because as much as Ezra didn't want to be abandoned, I felt like Kanan's doubts about his own ability to teach Ezra made for a more interesting internal monologue here. But I tried to address both of their feelings!! I hope I did okay
> 
> I hope you like it!!! I thought this would take longer to write, but I wound up with a flurry of inspiration last night and I got this done much quicker than expected. NaNoWriMo has been VERY good for my writing productivity :)

Kanan walked down the exit ramp of the  _ Ghost _ to see Ezra sitting down, his arms resting on his knees as he stared out at the Lothal plains. The kid had been moody since they escaped the Spire, and Kanan knew they needed to talk. He was still so new at this; he was  _ terrified  _ to face Ezra now that Luminara was gone for good, knowing that Ezra was stuck with him for a master. He could never hope to be good enough for the kid, and he wished there was a better option.

Ezra glanced up as he heard Kanan approach, before bowing his head again. “Look,” he muttered. “Don’t bother saying it. I’m letting you off the hook.”

_ That _ wasn’t what Kanan was expecting. “What are you talking about?”

“I know you wanted to dump me on Luminara!” Ezra sounded angry, and Kanan raised an eyebrow. “Just ‘cause she’s gone doesn’t mean you’re stuck with me.” 

Oh.  _ Oh,  _ this was going to be harder than Kanan thought. How on earth was he supposed to explain that this wasn’t about Ezra, not at all? The kid thought he wanted to abandon him, when in reality nothing could be further from the truth.

“I don’t– I don’t wanna _dump_ you…” Kanan sighed, bringing a hand up to his forehead. He could feel Ezra watching him warily as he took a seat next to him. “Look, I just wanted you to have the best teacher.” _And that’s not me._ _It’ll never be me._ He looked away as he finished the sentence, not wanting the kid to see the turmoil in his eyes.

“Well, I don’t want the best teacher!” Kanan glanced up in surprise at Ezra’s tone. “I want you!”  _ That  _ made Kanan pause, and he tensed as Ezra’s words landed on him. He couldn’t deny the way his heart thudded in his chest; it sounded like Ezra was  _ choosing _ him, and the apprehension coiling in his gut was mixing with something like awe. 

Ezra seemed to mistake his surprise for alarm, and he grimaced. He rubbed the back of his neck as he started talking again. “Er- not that you’re not the best. I-”

Kanan sighed, crossing his arms as he turned to face the kid. He had to explain this, make the kid understand that it  _ wasn’t _ about him. Kanan knew what it was like to go through life alone, not having anyone to look out for you. He didn’t want Ezra to go through that, but he couldn’t give the kid what he needed.

“Ezra, look. I didn’t go looking for Luminara because I didn’t want to teach you.” Kanan’s voice was low, his brow furrowed. He was trying to find the right words, trying to say what he needed to without upsetting the kid even further.  _ Master Billaba was always good at saying the right thing. I’ve never mastered it.  _

Ezra looked up at him, surprise and insecurity written all over his face. “You didn’t?” he muttered. 

“No.” Kanan shook his head. “Look, I never finished my own Jedi training. The Jedi fell when I was a boy, and I didn’t learn much beyond the basics.” He fought the involuntary clench of his heart that came with any mention of his Jedi past. Ezra was watching him intently, with a kind of rapt focus that made him slightly uncomfortable. “I wanted Luminara to teach you because she was… she was a  _ real _ Jedi, in a way that I can never be.” 

He was still reeling from Luminara’s death. Her presence had felt so  _ strong _ , so lifelike at the Spire, and it made his skin crawl to think about how the Empire managed that. For a  _ moment,  _ there was a spark of hope that some remnant of the old Jedi had managed to survive, and then that hope was dashed all over again. It left him feeling hollow, and the pain of his old losses were coming back in full force. 

_ Could _ he train the boy? He couldn’t deny that part of him, that small part that never stopped believing the Jedi could be restored, was secretly  _ thrilled _ at the thought of training an apprentice. Even though his confidence in his own abilities were shaky at best, if he was truly the only option left… he couldn’t leave Ezra alone with a power he didn’t understand. 

Surprisingly, Ezra spoke up, still rubbing the back of his neck as his face flushed slightly pink. “Look, Kanan, I trust you. I’ve learned a lot from you and Hera already and… I don’t want to be on my own again.” 

Kanan just stared at him, his apprehension melting into resolve. He couldn’t deny that his confidence was still shaky, but this kid was  _ asking him,  _ practically begging him for help, and he couldn’t say no. He wouldn’t abandon Ezra to the mercy of an unforgiving galaxy.

And suddenly, Kanan understood an old piece of Master Yoda’s wisdom with a kind of clarity he never had before. He almost laughed at the irony, but instead he said, “Ezra, I’m not gonna try and teach you anymore.” 

The kid’s face fell, and he looked away, before Kanan continued. “If all I do is try, that means I don’t truly believe I can succeed. So from now on, I  _ will _ teach you.” And he would. He would give it everything he had, try his best to pass on anything and everything he knew about the Force, as little as it was. He owed the Jedi of old that much, at least. 

Ezra was staring at him again, a small smile on his face and barely-restrained joy in his eyes. Kanan could feel the warmth radiating from the kid, and it made his heart swell. 

“I may fail,” he warned. “You may fail. But there is no try.” 

“I understand,” Ezra nodded. Then he turned to Kanan, smiling. “...Master.”

Kanan smirked back. “Let’s see if you do.” He handed over his lightsaber, and Ezra lit up with the biggest smile he’d seen yet.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feedback/kudos is so, so appreciated :)
> 
> Feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/targaryenjedii) or [Tumblr](https://batmanwholaughss.tumblr.com/) if you'd like to stay in touch <3


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